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disappointed long night last night. don't want to particularly get into details however a long standing fixture in my life is no longer going to be. Work is seriously kicking me in the ass. There are so many problems that I have to deal with that I sometimes just wish I could just spit. I am working on both problems though and hopefully before christmas will have some semblance of sanity.
For anyone interested if you have been hiding in a cave, the XBox 360 will be debuting the 22nd of Nov. Just a scant couple of days before the Thanksgiving holidays then off to Black Friday as retailers call it then full force Christmas holidays. Let me just say one thing, wake me when the new year starts. I must go to see my team lead and DM today at work then off to a parent teacher conference this afternoon and somewhere during the day also sit down and deal with my personal life I am not looking forward to the day. Maybe tomorrow I will just sleep all day. Depends on what happens today...
September 29 2005, 18:06:15 UTC 6 years ago
October 6 2005, 17:16:19 UTC 6 years ago
I wish I could take all the stress away so you could not feel so overwhelmed. You know that I do truly care and want you to be happy. It's so hard seeing you trying to hold the world on your shoulders and pushing me away when I try to help. I know I'm insecure. I have been for a long time and it seems therapy does help. When you push me away it's like the scars rip open fresh and the pain of all the old wounds come back. I wish we could talk about everything with someone else acting as the mediator so neither of us would freak out when something is said and not understood by one of us.
Relationships are hard. Harder when both people have been seriously hurt in the past. Even harder when both are just used to getting screwed over repeatedly.
I love you very much, Amy. I don't want to be with anyone else. Life is love. It's not about all the banal things that wash over us threatening to drown us in insecurity and stress. I would be your life preserver when you need it. You just need to stop pushing those you love the most away when you're drowning in stress.
Take care, my love. I miss you very much.